The Structure of Stoic Practice, Part 2: Dealing With Things We Have
Before starting this post, I recommend reading Part 1.
Let’s take a look now at each of eight realms mentioned in the previous post in more detail. I’ll talk about examples of things that fall under each category, some of the potential problems that might arise in relation to those things, and some of the common strategies and practices that show up in Stoic literature for dealing with the things in that category. In the future, I may come back and highlight each strategy with a quote from a Stoic text that illustrates that particular practice, but for now, I’m going to focus on just writing all of this out in outline form so I can revisit it later.
The way that I am describing most of these ideas and practices comes from taking obsessive notes on Ward Farnsworth’s The Practicing Stoic: A Philosophical User’s Manual, Donald Robertson’s Stoicism and the Art of Happiness and The Philosophy of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: Stoic Philosophy as Rational and Cognitive Psychotherapy, and Pierre Hadot’s The Inner Citadel: The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, all of which I highly recommend.
Things that we have and that we want
- Things that we have and that we want, that are under our control:
This is both the smallest category, and in one sense the most important.
o Examples: The ability to direct our attention. The ability to apply rational analysis to a thing, idea or event. The ability to make a rational choice (if you believe in that sort of thing).
o Potential problems:
Not valuing them enough. Taking them for granted.
Not using them enough.
o Strategies and practices:
Practice valuing these abilities by choosing to use them instead of reacting to events automatically and uncritically. Learn to value them above all else.
Gradually learn to think of these capacities as what actually defines you. Contemplate what it would mean or feel like to identify yourself as being only what you can control.
Cultivate the deep conviction that your conscious, rational response to the present moment is the only thing worth valuing.
Practice gratitude for having them.
At the beginning of each day, plan for how you will use them in different situations that might come up.
During each day, actively cultivate them.
At the end of each day, note which ones you practiced well, and be grateful for having done so.
- Things that we have and that we want, that are not under our control:
o Examples: Anything that you own or experience that you like, but that is outside of your sphere of control. Anything that you have and that you like that you could potentially lose. Money, food, shelter, good relationships, social respect, your health, positive and rewarding experiences. Any useful resource.
o Potential problems:
Becoming attached to them to the point that their loss, or even just the idea of their loss, causes you suffering and causes you to lose your equanimity.
Allowing your experience of these things to blunt your appreciation for them, so that you take them for granted and you lose the ability to enjoy them.
Allowing your desire for these things (especially if it has been dulled by ingratitude) to turn into obsessive craving for more of them.
o Strategies and practices:
Cultivate gratitude for what you have.
Practice wanting what you actually have.
Cultivate enough detachment about things you have no control over that their loss would not unduly disturb your peace of mind and your ability to function.
Practice moderation in your indulgence in the pleasure that comes from utilizing these resources, so that your enjoyment of them does not become dulled over time.
When using and enjoying these resources, ask yourself how you can do so in a way that serves the greater communities that you are a part of.
Things that we have and that we don’t want
- Things that we have and that we don’t want, that are under our control:
This is kind of a weird category, because you would think that if you have something you don’t want, and you have control over it, you could just get rid of it. And that is true, so the question is, why would you have them in the first place? It is best to think of this as the category of psychological behaviors that we have let become unquestioned habits, but that can be changed, at least in the present moment (which is the only time or place where you have any control). Although you can’t completely control whether or not you will experience them at any point in the future, continued practice in the present moment, right now, will start to influence how you do or do not experience them in the future.
o Examples: Irrational reactions to fear, anxiety, thoughts. Irrational, incorrect or exaggerated representations, opinions and judgements.
o Potential problems:
Allowing them to take over your mental and emotional life, causing you to become more irrational, judgmental, and anxious.
o Strategies and practices:
Withhold your assent from all inaccurate representations.
“Withholding assent from representations” is a technical term for the aspect of Stoic practice that involves analyzing the judgements and opinions that you have about events and only allowing yourself to entertain the aspects of them that are rational and objective. This falls under the general practice of Stoic Logic, and I will post about this topic later. Hadot goes into great detail about this in The Inner Citadel.
Break your fears and anxieties down into smaller parts. Challenge them.
Remember that all representations of events in your mind are just appearances, and are not the things they represent.
Remember that we are not upset or harmed by things and events, but by our opinions about them.
Compare how your reaction to a situation would be if it occurred in a different context.
At the end of each day, review how you have made these mistakes and consider how to act differently next time.
- Things that we have and that we don’t want, that are not under our control:
o Examples: Any kind of unwanted adversity. Pain, disease and discomfort. Poverty. Unpleasant memories and experiences in the past. Bad relationships or loss of good ones. Contempt, criticism and insults from other people, real or imagined (including the voices inside your head).
o Potential problems:
Allowing the experience of these things to undermine your sense of wellbeing.
Allowing the experience of these things to distract your attention from what is important to you.
o Strategies and practices:
Analyze the degree to which each of these experiences consists of things that are outside of your control.
Practice accepting the aspects of these experiences that are outside of your control.
These first two obviously go together, but they are not the same thing. I can accept the obvious things that are out of my control without realizing how much more I could be accepting, because I haven’t analyzed the situation correctly. And I can analyze a situation in the abstract without putting in any work to actually, viscerally, feel the sense of acceptance.
A stronger version of acceptance would be to practice actually wanting things to be the way they are, which is one of the most important Stoic practices, also known as “amor fati”, or “love fate.” Although the term doesn’t appear in the classical Stoic texts (it was popularized by Nietzsche; the term is Latin, and the early texts were all written in Greek, even by the Romans), it is to Stoicism what “Yes, and . . .” is to improvisational theater. This will get an entire post later on.
Do not add anything extra to things external to you. Do not magnify their meaning or significance.
Remind yourself that nothing matters outside of your voluntary, rational reaction to the present moment.
Practice patience, and the endurance of fatigue, discomfort, and hardship (physically and mentally)
Look at your adversity as a training ground, or as a way to prove your resilience and wisdom.
Contemplate how a painful or unpleasant experience now, or any short-term loss or setback, might have hidden benefits or lead to a better outcome later. Dealing with it well might provide you with other opportunities later, or give you skills that come in useful.
In Part 3, we’ll look at how to deal with things we don’t have, both the ones we want, and the ones we don’t want.